THIS WEEK I SENT SAM OFF TO CAMP...
WHEN I SAID GOODBYE MY EYES WERE DAMP....
I TRIED NOT TO SHOW IT AS I KNOW HE’LL HAVE FUN....
IT’S A HARD LIFE BEING A MUM!
Since winning the “New Face of Iceland“ competition I have been interviewed by several different people for magazine articles and one of the questions I have been asked is, “what do you think is the hardest part of being a mum?”
This Monday morning I waved Sam off to school camp for the week, and I now think this is the hardest part.
They will have an amazing time; they will be doing abseiling, canoeing, orienteering, and lots of other outdoor activities. They also have a disco and get to share rooms with their mates. It is a confidence building exercise in their final year at primary school to prepare them for moving up next year. It was lovely to see Sam being so excited and enthusiastic about going. Why then, you might wonder did I find that hard, and try not to well up? The answer is that letting go of children is harder than having them depend on you for everything.
From the moment they are born you suddenly realise you have total responsibility for another person’s wellbeing and you have to cater for their every need without a manual or instruction booklet. For me this came as a shock to the system at first and I was very nervous and scared of getting it wrong. I read every baby book going and then just got confused when they seemed to all contradict each other! Do you pick them up or leave them to cry? Do you feed them when they are hungry or at regular times? Does playing Mozart to them really make them clever later in life?
By the time I had a second one I was much more relaxed and realised that it’s best to throw all the books away and do what feels natural. If you rely on your instincts you can’t go far wrong. As they grow you become more confident all the time in your ability to care for them and supply everything they need. Gradually though, just as you get used to that, the job as a mum changes again. Instead of doing everything for them you have to start encouraging their independence. You have to make judgements about how much freedom to give. When and where can they go out? Who with, and how long for? You still want to keep them safe, but don’t want to wrap them in cotton wool. Just as there was no instruction booklet as a baby, there is none to tell you how much freedom and at what age is the right amount. You only have your own instinct to rely on and you know if you get it wrong either way, there can be bad repercussions. They build their own friendships and start to make their own decisions about how they look and what they wear.
It is the way of nature that your children grow up and away from you and it is exactly how it should be, as you won’t always be there, but for me this is the hardest part!
I am thinking of Sam almost constantly this week and just wondering what he is doing, what he’s had for tea, has he changed his clothes or had a wash yet?! The sales assistant in the chemist said it was a waste of time buying all the shampoo, shower gels and body sprays as they don’t ever use them at camp, but agreed that as mums, it made us all feel better to buy them and pack them anyway! They are not allowed any contact with home for the whole week except for emergencies and I do understand the reason for this, but would love to just be able to say, “had a good day today, Sam?”I do hope they don’t get too washed out as the weather is terrible, and also hope that 9 pairs of socks is enough for five days! I am really looking forward to hearing all about it when he comes home, although according to reports from previous years, he will be very tired, very hungry, very dirty and just want to sleep!
We won’t have long to catch up as then I’m off to Manchester on Sunday to film the next adverts. At least when it’s me that is away I always know I can phone at any time to talk to the boys, and of course I am looking forward to meeting up with the gang of “Iceland mums” again!
It was a bit of a thoughtful blog this week, but I bet I’m not the only one thinking these things at this time of year with many children starting school for the first time, or changing schools. I also wouldn’t mind betting that more secret tears were shed by parents dropping off children than by the actual children themselves! But again, that is nature and the way things should be!
Please come back next week for a less thoughtful, more action packed blog when I can tell you how the filming went and what happened when we all got together again.
Thanks for reading
Ellie
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