A new future!

I AM HAPPIER THAN I THOUGHT IT POSSIBLE TO BE...

TIMES ARE CHANGING FOR THE BOYS AND ME...

SOON WE WILL FINALLY HAVE OUR OWN PLACE...

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE THE SMILE ON MY FACE!

Hello again,

Apologies in advance if this week’s blog sounds a bit emotional. I feel like it is Christmas day and I have just woken up with the good feeling in your stomach when you know the day will be full of happiness.

Getting ready to move

I haven’t mentioned in my previous blogs that we have been going through the process of buying our own home. There is a reason for this! When you have wanted something so much for so long you get to a point when you realise it is simply a nice dream that won’t ever become reality, and you learn to live with it and focus on other things. However when you start to think, hang on a minute, this dream actually could come true and become reality, it is hard to take in or accept. I am a superstitious fool who can’t pass a magpie without saluting it and have had many a shouting fit when someone has inadvertently put a pair of new shoes in a shopping bag on a table! I did not want to tempt fate by talking about our new house too early.

I worked out the other day that we have actually moved house 9 times in the last 10 years. Most of these times it has not been a conscious choice to move; it has been down to circumstances beyond our control. This is the problem when you rent houses, often the landlord may want to sell their house and you need to move out, or in one case the landlord may decide they want to live there again. I have never had anything against the principal of renting a house, and every house we have ever lived in has always felt like home at the time, but you just know in the back of your mind at any given point you could have a call giving you two months notice to find somewhere else and move on. Two months really doesn’t give you very long to find somewhere suitable and make all the arrangements and I would always worry myself to death about the effect it would have on the boys.

It’s true what they say about children taking everything in their stride though. Sam and Luke have always seemed quite relaxed about moving, it is me that worries about it!

I just feel it is a parent’s job to shield your children from the worries of life. They have plenty of time once they grow up to make their way in the world, and learn how to deal with problems and worries but as children, their biggest worries should only be things like what colour grip tape to put on their scooters, or whether they will look cool at the school disco!

I remember once finding out we had to move just before I went to pick theboys up from school. We had been in the house about a year and just got it how we wanted it and made it a home rather than just a house. I had not had time to let it sink in and compose myself, and still remember standing in the playground trying so hard not to cry as I didn’t want the boys to see that and worry. I also then pretended that I had decided we should move rather than letting them know the decision had once again been made for us. I never wanted them to feel I wasn’t in control of what happened to us as family even if the truth was that I wasn’t.

I am only explaining all this to try and put into context just what it really means to finally have a home of our own. Some feelings are so overwhelming they are hard to put down on paper.

Sam is describing the keys to this house as “The keys to success” and we have already decided that we will all hold the front door key together as we open it for the first time. They understand the difference of this house actually belonging to us and Sam has already interpreted this to mean he can now paint his bedroom any way he wants. I am bracing myself for the discussion if he decides black walls would be “cool”!

Family dinner!

Amongst the chaos, Rob and I took all our children out for a lovely meal as it was Jodie’s birthday. Rob’s children have gone off for a week with their mum on the trip of a lifetime to Canada. He is missing them terribly but knows they will be having great fun.

More boxes!

Two things have made this big dream happen for us. By winning the “New face of Iceland“competition prize money, and with a big help from my family it has become possible to raise the deposit needed to have my own mortgage. This time last year I would not have believed I would be sitting here now surrounded by boxes moving on to a future that looks so bright I need my sunglasses. I would not have believed I would be seeing myself pop up on T.V. eating pizza with a whole group of new friends. I would not have believed I would be stopped in the street by well wishers telling me they had just seen me on T.V. or in the newspaper. I have learnt something here, to never ever stop believing that dreams can come true, however unlikely they may seem.

That’s the beauty of life, you never know what is round the next corner and sometimes it could be the biggest and best surprise of your life.

Thanks for reading

Ellie

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