Old Friends

LAST TIME WE MET WE WERE ALL AT SCHOOL....

LOOKING FOR WAYS TO BEND THE RULES....

25 YEARS ON AND MUCH THE SAME....

I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN!

Hello again,

I wonder if anyone else reading this has ever been to a school reunion. It’s one of those things people talk about a lot but quite often when it comes to actually doing it the plans seem to fall apart.

This was the second reunion organised for my school year but the first one I had ever been to. Last year was just the wrong time. I had just lost one of my closest friends from school at that time and wasn’t ready to see everyone else from that era. This year felt much more positive and there were others there who shared the loss of both Rachael, and other loved ones. It was a celebration of the time when we were all together. It is also a special time for all of us as, we all turn 40 within the same 12 months. I suppose it is sad but inevitable that out of a group of 100 or so people not all of them would be still around at 40, but I think all the more reason to celebrate and make the most of every minute we are here, and to be grateful, in their memory.

It was quite nerve-wracking getting ready to go and my biggest fear was someone remembering me but me having no idea who they were. What would I do if that happened? Let them speak and keep talking in the hope it would jog some memory later? Or just say from the start “I’m sorry I don’t remember who you are?”
I am usually a very honest and up front person so thought I would go for the second option and just come clean straightaway if I didn’t know.

In practice it was actually very easy to recognise people, just the hair, height and clothes were different but the faces all looked the same! I think it’s true that as you get older your long term memory stays intact and it’s the little day to day things you forget. Ask me what I had for lunch yesterday and I’d have think long and hard about it, but ask me if I remember who flicked the rubber band that took a wrong turn and hit our French teacher resulting in serious shouting and a detention all the details are there!

I was very pleased that one of my closest friends from that time Katy was there. We helped each other, and every time the door opened and more people arrived we had time to quickly put names to faces. I even scored points for remembering two of our old teachers that were there!

The atmosphere was unlike any other social gathering I’d been to, in that everybody spent the whole night laughing and smiling as we all shared memories. Once the initial ice was broken I was surprised at how we were all able to talk to each other so easily even after all those years. Someone calculated that the time passed added to all the people there accounted for roughly 1000 years, a lot of catching up to do in just a few hours! A lot of us had children and passed pictures around. We even had one person soon to become a grandparent! There was a genuine interest in each other’s lives as they are now and it never felt competitive in any way. I must admit before I went that was another potential worry I had. I used to hate the toddler groups I went to when the boys were young where it seemed the discussions revolved around who had the most teeth, who was out of nappies first , etc etc and I felt trapped in a race I didn’t want to be in. I wondered if people would be doing similar comparisons at a school reunion regarding jobs, lifestyles etc. but am pleased to report there was none of that, and the overwhelming feeling was one of friendship and solidarity!

I heard a quote the other day and due to the short term memory problems I described earlier I can’t remember exactly where I saw or heard it, but it really struck a chord with me. It was along the lines of “success doesn’t bring happiness... happiness brings success.” I always say success should not be based on your grades at school, your qualifications and your annual salary. To me success means waking up each day and being happy with where you are, your friends and your family and looking forward to another day in your own life. I think if you can feel like that whatever your job or lifestyle you can claim to be successful rather than basing your success rating on the car that you drive or the job that you do.

I think instead of making you yearn for “the good old days” a school reunion makes you appreciate what you have now. It’s just nice to be in a room where your memories aren’t only your own, they are shared with 40 other people. Despite my rose tinted glasses I wouldn’t want to actually go back to a time of teenage acne, homework deadlines and major adolescent insecurities. What I would like, is to see the people who went through it with me at the time in the present again!

So my conclusion this week is that if you have ever thought about having a school reunion don’t be scared, just go along and I bet you enjoy it more than you think you will! With the rise in social networking sites it is much easier to find people that you probably never thought you would see again, so I’m sure more and more are being organised. If you are really brave perhaps you could be the one to organise it?!

Thanks for reading
Ellie
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